Rev. Fr. Arulnathan Joseph represented Rev. Fr. Michael Dass of St. Anthony to Nirvana to conduct the prayers on All Souls Day. 

Cherish the journey and continue the journey they left. To the days we will meet again. Remembering the loved ones, what more the love of God for His children. 

True love stories never have endings but they have beginnings...  date are yet to be confirmed... 

Learning about Catholic is complicated when you're from the Buddhist family since young. There will be question, where How do I fast? What can be eaten?

It is the Lent Season. It will be my first Lent before Baptism. After much reading and researching, it is life saving that I found this article from another convert, Britanny Ann.

That’s it! While the season of Lent is a 40-day period (46 if you count Sundays) leading up to Easter, you only have to follow the Catholic Lent fasting rules on 8 days total. That’s 2 days of fasting and 8 days of abstaining from meat. Every other day during Lent, you eat like normal. No changes needed.

During Lent, “fasting” means eating less than usual so that you can devote more time and energy to prayer, reflection, penance, charity (almsgiving), and spiritual growth.

Fasting does not mean you can’t eat anything all day. Rather, you can eat one full meal and two smaller meals throughout the day, as long as your total intake is less than two regular meals. Snacking in between these smaller meals is not allowed.

During Lent, “abstinence” means choosing not to eat meat or products that contain pieces of meat on certain days of abstinence.

According to the Catholic Lent rules, Catholics 14 years of age and older are required to practice abstinence (no meat) on Ash Wednesday, Fridays during Lent and Good Friday (unless a solemnity falls on one of those days). This doesn’t include all animal products, however.

Catholics are allowed to eat all of the following foods during Lent:

• Fish 
• Eggs 
• Any Fruits 
• Any Vegetables 
• Dairy products (milk, butter, and yogurt) 
• Any Grains (noodles, breads, and donuts)

Catholics are not allowed to eat the following foods on Ash Wednesday or Fridays during Lent:

• Chicken
• Beef
• Pork
• Ham
• Deer
• Lamb
• Buffalo

For most people, abstaining from meat and fasting for a few meals according to the Catholic Lent rules really isn’t that much of a sacrifice. For others, however, following the Catholic fasting rules could pose serious health problems. If that’s you, don’t worry.
The Catholic Church does offer plenty of exemptions.
For example, the following people are all exempt from fasting and abstaining during Lent:

• Children
• Anyone age 60 years of age or older
• Pregnant and nursing mothers
• Those who are frail
• Individuals of “unsound mind”
• Manual laborers who need to eat to have the strength to work
• People who cannot fast or abstain for health reasons (diabetes, for example)
• And even guests whose refusal to eat would greatly offend their dinner host!

Frequently Asked Questions Catholic Lent Fasting Rules

Catholics only fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday during Lent, not every day. Catholics fast by eating one regular meal and two small meals (that equal less than one regular meal) with no snacks in between. Fasting does not mean no food all day, and fasting is not a requirement if the Friday falls on a Solemnity.

Catholics do not eat meat on Ash Wednesday, Good Friday, or Fridays during Lent. Instead, they fast and abstain from meat in order to spend more time in prayer or to give more generously to the poor.

Catholics can eat meat on all days during Lent except Ash Wednesday, Good Friday, and Fridays during Lent. Catholics are only required to abstain from meat on these eight days. All the other days (and on all Solemnities), they may eat like normal.

Catholics do not eat chicken on Fridays during Lent, Good Friday, or Ash Wednesday. This includes large pieces of chicken, such as chicken wings, chicken casseroles, or chicken legs. However, Catholics can have eggs and liquid chicken broth (without pieces of meat) during Lent (and on all Solemnities).

Catholics can eat eggs during Lent. Because eggs are not the “fleshy” part of the animal, eggs do not count as meat for Lent.

Catholics can have dairy products during Lent, including milk, yogurt, cheese, and cottage cheese. Animal products are fine. The Catholic fasting rules only require Catholics to avoid the flesh meat of animals, not all animal products or derivatives.

As a general rule, most Catholics believe you can eat chicken stock, beef broth, turkey gravy, and other similar condiments during Lent, as long as you are only eating the juices from the animals, not the meat (flesh) itself, but not everyone agrees. You will want to ask your local priest for a definitive answer on this one.

Catholics can eat fish during Lent. While the reasons are unclear, Catholics do not consider seafood (fish, shrimp, crab, lobster) as meat during Lent. This is why Friday fish fries and clam chowder are so popular on Fridays of Lent!

There are several theories why fish is not considered “meat” according to the Catholic Lent Fasting Rules.
For example, some have suggested that it’s because fish are cold-blooded (while cows and chickens are warm blooded). Others have suggested that it’s due to the fact that fish used to be common, while steaks were rare. Others believe it rule was invented–at least in part–to help the fish economy in the 16th century.

What CAN You Eat on Fridays During Lent?

Initially this morning I'm not feeling very good about the New Year. My eyes was in pain, there's a pus under the eyelid. My left eye to cheek are sensitive to touch. My earring was missing yesterday. It seems nothing seems has gone right since Christmas leading up to now. I was hoping that it will be better after Chinese New Year. But it seems so far yet so near. There is so much to prepare and yet, I don't know if I should prepare them. My work is stuck, I just couldn't grasp the idea of the whole system works. Although it sounded easy and my boss made it as easy to understand as possible yet, it is difficult to sit in the mind.

After reading the reflection. What do you want me to see? What do you want me to do? I'm so mentally and physically tired from all the hu-ha in life. Come, as I've come to read the daily bible everyday (as of till now). 

Thinking back. Yes, come. I went to church on my birthday on the invitation to help out the ministry to prepare a pot luck for the friars. And I did see few priest and many other people there to celebrate my first birthday without my parents last year. What did God want me to see? I think that would be, I still have lots of people around me to give me love. What faith God bestow on me? It would be the blessings I receive from 6 priest on my birthday. Not many are able to get the blessing of a priest on their birthday, I received 6 on that day!

Image from Catholic Daily Reflection

There is few events when I'm attending mass and the theme of the day or the slides the priest was speaking was about the situation that I'm facing. But the most prominent was when my ex and I broke up, I was having self blame to the extend that I wanted to give up life. That is when I heard clearly; "Check the phone bills". I went and check and there was outstanding, I thought that is it. And I continued working; until I hear the voice again. "Check the phone bill". I went and check again, not knowing what to look for. I checked the number called and realized that there was this number he called through out the day and at odd hours where you won't be calling if you claim to be "Just A Friend".

Having thought that's it. What have I done wrong for him to treat me this way. When I wanted to end my life even more the following day. I prepared and put everything into order before wanting to leave the house. God probably send this one person that annoys me so much to my house to lecture me. He sat with me and listened. I remembered him telling, "If God didn't asked you to check the phone bill and knowing what he is doing behind you now. After you've got married with him, it's not going to be any easy to leave the relationship than it is now." He put a to do list for me. He stayed with me that day, so that I will not be alone while waiting for my parents to come home from work. He made sure that I'm not alone at home when my parents are not at home.

Therefore, I think God speaks through other medium when you are not open for Him to approach you. My life was saved because of them.

I've not told many of this incident as I felt stupid and embarassed. I've told my mum, she too was surprised and there got to be someone looking out for me. Other than my mum, I told my sponsor aka God-ma about it when she asked if I had experience God in anyway during the day of acceptance, I told her this incident which I'm not sure if it God who speaks to me. After listening, she told me that I'm a chosen one. She gave me the courage to tell this incident and an experience not many would experience. Yet, I'm still afraid and anxious about the baptism which is coming in a few months.

First year without both my parents. It is not easy to pass the days of advent without them. I was sobbing to sleep on Christmas eve. Then I was too busy to move around during the count down of the New Year that it was less gloomy and saddened.

I've been asked to do my spiritual journal since the day I started RCIA last October. Journal about my spiritual journey, my communication with God, incidents. I didn't get to do it on a daily basis. I did not do the journaling as I'm told to do. I would look at the book and ponder what is there to write. What is there to communicate? There was a gap in between class, St Francis Asisi feast if I'm not mistaken. Going back to class after that, I was dragging it, I am very reluctant to go for class not to mention for class after mass. I had a vision of Jesus with his open arms. I thought I was just dreaming. Then during the homily, 30th October. Speaking of Zacchaeus, one of the slides shown was the picture of Jesus with his open arms. What a coincidence! 

A month after I started my class, I was down with Covid. I'm stuck at home for 2 weeks. That is when I'm asked to do more communication with Him. Instead of communicating, I got frustrated and angry at Him. For He took both my parents away from me and I'm left striving alone in the house! What more is there communicate? I literary closed all doors towards Him. 

It took alot of persuasion to get me to attend mass again after my covid. The very day I'm back to church after my covid is the day where I'm to go through the acceptance ceremony. After the mass and the get-together in the room and talking to my Sponsor - Vivien Choe; I feel calm and good. 

Leading up to Christmas and New Year. I attended mass on Christmas day and New Year day.

Sponsor gave me the Daily Bible on the day of my acceptance. Now I'm putting a habit to reading it daily, before going to sleep. If during the day I had the time, I would read from the Universalis and the Catholic Daily Reflection for more understanding of the daily reading.

 It is the last advent week to Christmas. The last candle of advent is lit yesterday, the candle of Peace. Christmas will be this Sunday.

I tried my hands on making some Indian delicacies yesterday after class at Francis mum's home. I made the moulding of the muruku while Jess fried them. After the muruku, we made the sweet snacks; making Kuih Denderam / Athirasam (mini sweet doughnut) and Kuih Ghee / Ghee Urundai (Ghee Balls) using Baba's pre-packed flour.

One tip from the frying is that aunty, placed a bronze one cent coin into the middle of the wok to gather all the fried dirt into the bottom of it. 

Murruku	Murukku mould
Athirasam	Nei Urundai / Ghee Ball

How much should you know a person before you commit to an eternal "I DO" ?

I was sick with Covid-19 finally, no longer the covid virgin. I have no idea how or when I contacted with a Covid person. Anyway, it was on a Friday night when I could not sleep with very bad coughing and I have been having light cough and aching shoulder for the last two days. I am subject to an interview with a priest in the Church. Precaution, I took the covid test before going to the Church where there might be lots of people the priest will be contacting. And to my "amazement"... it showed Positive!

I took another test for confirmation after shower. True, the test shows it's positive. Though it is not immediate, it took more than 10 minutes to show the second line. Then my quarantine time started... in the room!

Conditions:

1. Cough.
   Coughing very badly with watery phlegm. 
   
   
2. Headache.
   I went to the clinic a week ago for migraine. And it is coming back as I could not sleep for a few days (waking every hour to vomit).
   
   
3. No appetite.
   The throat is aching from the coughing. Everything that was put into the mouth tasted very salty. The taste sense had gone wrong.
   
   
4. Mentally distress.
   I'm stuck in the room with little to no ventilation. I needed fresh air to enter the room but yet, I'm afraid it will spread to the maid. And the maid thought is it  fun, and would want to come near to talk to you without a mask! What kind of stupidity!?
   
   
5. Agitation.
   Everything agitates me, to the point the look of my boyfriend and maid agitates me. Simple request and instructions are not executed.
   
   
6. Disappointment.
   I'm feeling disappointed with the people around me. I don't seem to matter to anyone. I'm stuck at home with two blockhead taking care of me. The maid would just wait around waiting for instructions on what to do. The other blockhead would rather instruct the maid to do the thing instead... Really, I'm grateful for all he'd done, he would get the groceries for me when I'm stuck at home when the maid said there is no groceries. Or get food for me when I wanted something. Medicines when I'm not well. But when the maid is busy cleaning up the raw food and he asked if I wanted papaya. He would instruct the maid to take it out instead of taking it out by himself. I cannot imagine if I am married with kids next time, would he just wait around instead of helping out? 
   
   When I have no appetite, I wanted home cooked food. All he did is round around Cheras to look for food. Even the future mother-in-law or the family couldn't care less. My cousin would buy a sour dough bread and butter to my sister who is also covid positive who is living with the parents-in-law and the husband while I'm here alone these people! My aunt bought the pork for me when I told them I only have chicken and fish in the freezer. I started coughing more when I had fish the whole day and the chicken is a taboo food during cough. 
   
   All I'm eating during my covid quarantine was bread, porridge and outside food (porridge, cheese naan, beef balls noodle). I wanted piping hot food, and all I'm getting is take out food and re-heat on request food. The only home cooked food I got is, iddli on Sunday evening and rasam soup on Tuesday. When I requested the boyfriend to take the maid off, so I could do my own cooking... the request was not granted. Reason: to take care of me.
   ~ F**K, how is she taking care of me? Neither is he taking care of me as well.
   
   It is only during Sunday, he bought food and stayed for a few hours with me at the porch when the viral load is low and 8 days after getting Covid-19 and it would not spread. 

People asked me to pray during the quarantine, for quick recovery. Have personal prayers and create a spiritual relationship with Him. This is hilarious! If He could heal me, or make me better; then He should put some thinking cap to the blockheads. 8 days into the quarantine, and I'm still tested positive! 

I am attending RCIA. However, during the quarantine, it did not help me go closer to Him. But instead, it swayed my trust in Him and withdrawal. I don't feel like wanting to continue to attend the class or church anymore. I'm no longer curious or wanted to know about Christianity. However, I would need to do something about my anger. I am feeling angry on little things. I find it hard to express my anger or my frustration in words without throwing a fist or flaring my temper. This started when the new hired colleague would come to my place and "Excuse Me, I want this... " and another that would come to my table and knock. Not even my boss had done that to me when he wanted to talk to me. Never in my working life that I have someone come and knock on my table! I might be on my earphone, but I'm not blind. 

I just had the urge to drop the maid at the boyfriend's place. Since she likes to clean, there is nothing much to clean in the house anyway and I don't want to talk to her. I needed time to be alone... some personal space without disturbances. I want some quiet time, peace.

It added to my agitation even more, when aunt came to drop off groceries and sister came over to go to the polling station together; what they saw and mentioned to me is not asking if I had anything to eat or am I eating well during my quarantine but instead they are asking me if the maid is eating anything and she had loose weight! What the F**K! How am I suppose to know if she is eating anything. If she decides not to eat anything that is her decision, not mine to make and force her to eat when I'm in quarantine in the room. Excuse me! Am I her mother to look after and making sure she is eating when I'm struggling in the room? Does this makes any sense to anyone who's sick? I'm not sure she is acting on pity or wanting to have attention. Before I'm not well, she is already not eating properly when I'm at work what more now when I'm in the room? If it not because I'm to move out of the house and needed someone to pack up the things in the house, I would have sent her off. 

You may wonder, what about the boyfriend who can help with the packing? NEVER! "The things are all yours, how am I to know what you want and what you don't want?" Doesn't that applies to the maid as well? I'm doing the unpacking myself. So what is this new family going to be? I cannot imagine. And why am I moving to his place when he is not helping to do the unpacking? Shouldn't I just move to my own house where everything in the house is practically all ready?

Things in the his apartment is not ready. Things are not done until I do it. Why? The wardrobe is not ready!! How do you move over when the basic in the bedroom is not ready? Am I to live out of the suitcase? There is no laundry rack to hang the clothes. Everything his mother does for him. His cleaning, laundry, and food. 

I'm not sure if I'm disappointed in others or myself. Or was it that I'm expecting too much from others that I'm disappointed from these expectations. I'm having so much doubt now... with him, with me, with us. I'm disappointed with my parents. I'm probably disappointed in God himself. What am I getting out of all this? A test from Him to test my patience if I had a 'special' kid in the future? I will opt for abortion if I know that I'm carrying a special kid. The world is not a kind world for these special kids, why would I want to bring it to the world to suffer? I may not be God to do miracles and I cannot guarantee that it would be better for the kid. I may be a murderer, nobody will be able to know after you dies. Why do I want to take the risk for it being mistreated and abused? From what I'm looking at and feeling in this world I'm living in, why would I want to bring it to the world which is cruel and inconsiderate? If I do bring it to the world, how can you guarantees that they will be thankful to you for brining it to the world and would it not blame you for bringing it to the world when there is cruelty and mistreatment to the kid? His family to help to look after the kid? Do you think I'm not going to expect something from a family that is unable to care for me to care for my kid if anything should happen. Still, I would still stand to my opinion of "No, Thank You!"

Someone told me, their life got better after going to church. Or when they swayed away from church their life took a down turn until they goes back to church. I've not been going to church all my life. And I'm only going because I'm going on behalf of my dead mother when she couldn't attend even after she got baptised. Does that make any difference to me? Yes, I'm meeting more aunties in the Church. But these are just religious aunties who is telling me how great Jesus is. 

The Late Queen Elizabeth II is laid into her eternal resting place. Quoted as she once said, "Grief is the price we pay for love". 

It is very true, if you do not love the deceased; you will not feel pain and there would be no grief. When you feel the pain and grief; you knew that the deceased had done good to you therefore you feel the pain of losing them. And it is the love you had for them and the lost of there presence with you like how they used to be.

There is so much happening in this two years. Passing of my dad, the loving partner of my mum. Passing of my mum 7 months after the grief of losing her loving partner which escalated her sickness. Passing of Price Phillip; the love of Queen Elizabeth II. 13 months after, Queen Elizabeth II joins shortly. 

On another quote; "Grief never ends... But it changes". The grief you feel of the losing of a loved one will never ends. It only changes the perspective of those who is still living. There is "Later" for the person you love and the things you wanted to do. You will never know when "later" will come. By then, it will be too late when you realize it as time wait for no men.

I always thought I will die before Mummy after Daddy's passing. I prepared everything that is needed to be prepared for my own's passing. My passwords, things to do, eulogy and even picture to be use. Until Mummy's is diagnosed with cancer that all of us is so occupied that I forgot my own's planning. With Mummy now gone to heaven. 

I thought I'll be prepared for her passing as her condition is deteriorating and it is unlike Daddy's which is very sudden and we have no chance to tell him goodbye and we love him. Yet, the separation from them is still very painful.

Looking at my own's plan... my farewell letter to my loved ones including to Mummy is heartbreaking. I just miss her so much that I don't even feel like doing anything; including going to work.

Mummy. I miss you. I love you.

The past post I did on you at the hospital will be the last post while looking at you.

Two days ago, I woke up feeling lost. I stared at the ceiling and reached for my phone. I knew nothing much I could do to make my feeling disappear. 

I clicked on the Facebook. The message that came straight to my face is this:

I started crying reading this. I had hope mummy knows how much we love her. 

I would always wake her up in her sleep in the hospital to give her water. Every now and then, I would call her.. "Mummy!" until she opens her eyes or respond to me then I replied with a smile. "I Love You!" She would reply sleepily "Love You".

Even when she is in the Accident and Emergency Unit on the 23rd February 2022 morning. Even while she is gasping for air with the oxygen mask. I held her hands and told her.. "Mummy, I love you!" she replied "Love You".

I knew you will be worried of me. I'm sorry that I made you promised me not to leave me alone after daddy's passing. I knew you tried to hold on to your promise. Before your last breath. I whispered to her, "Mummy, it's ok. I know you tried to held on to your promise. I will not blame you for breaking the promise. I will forgive you. I don't want to see you in pain. I love you." 

"Do come back to see me, come to my dreams to tell me your stories as you've promised me you'll do. Come to my dreams so that I can still see you."... 

To this day, I have not dreamt of Mummy or did I feel her presence. Is she angry with me or is she unhappy with me for the things I did to her before her last breath?

I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH MUMMY!

I'm SORRY for all the things I did wrong to you.

𓆩♡𓆪

Mummy.

I knew you knows, but I wanted you to know again that we always love you.
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.

 As day passes, I get terrified. I do not know when is the last day I'll see and hold mummy. Just like when daddy passed away. 

I'm tearing in between making her live longer and letting her go without pain. There is so much I wanted to do with her. Our trip to Haneda, New Zealand and to Europe. 

Her abdominal seems more bloated now compare to the other day. Ultrasound shows there are fluid in them. The liquid had gone to her lungs and that could be one of the reason which causes her to have difficulties in breathing and was sent to the ICU.

She seems weaker than before going into ICU. She had no strength to talk. She feels nauseated. She doesn't wants to eat. I wanted her to drink the 'cocktail' and yet I'm afraid that it will make her puke. She is very tired... she had been sleeping throughout. 

Daddy! What am to do?? 

I will be very selfish if I wanted to keep mummy alive to see me get weds while she is feeling the discomfort and pain. I just wanted to get her home.

 I was in the hospital with my mum. 

My smarty pants maid tried to clean the aquarium on her own. That is the last of see of my pet fish.

After 3 years in the family, at 1330 you went to heaven, and I didn't get to say goodbye. Now you are gone forever. Like daddy, you went to the next world. Keep him company till we se each other again.

I'm extremely scared...

As Doctor says there is around 6 months to a year to go. Keeping my fingers crossed that it will exceed the time given. Days after my dad's passing, I told her not to abandon me. But having to see her go through this, it is heartbreaking.

As the time ticks, the heart beat faster as day passes. Everyday I wakes up being afraid, that it will be the last I will see my mother. I know I should be positive every morning when I wakes up with. I have mother with me today, and to make the best out of it. I can't help it being afraid that I don't have my mum with me anymore.
As it was a ticking bomb in her, time is passing by quickly. I missed the day when both my parents are around bugging me and nagging me. I can't turn back time.
Every seconds with my mum counts. But having the thought, just paralyse me. I don't know why; but I've been breaking down very much after coming back from the hospital.

- Steve Jobs

"Appreciate and savour every moment you have with your loved ones, for you do not know how long you will be alive." I always tell myself and everyone around me this. But when it really did happened, I am still not prepare for it.

I am still missing the very person that left me a year ago, then another loved one left me while I'm still struggling to get my life sorted out. I am still very unsure to move on from here. I missed them so much that everything in life is no longer an interest to me. The only reason for me to be staying alive now is my mum.

Inspirational Quotes From Apple Co-Founder

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma—which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.

- Steve Job's Quotes

Sometimes I feel that I am contradicting myself.

I wanted you to go to 西方极乐世界西方極樂世界 and not stay here for you will be cold and not good for you but at the same time I don't want you to leave and forget us here. It just feel that there is a big part missing. I always complain that you're irritating, but when you're gone it just felt wasn't right.

When a beloved is dying, we are touched to our deepest core. Difficult, painful emotions may rush up, stirring in our hearts. Dying and death become a great challenger, breaking into our lives.

There are many ways to distract ourselves in our everyday life and forget about the ever-present and basic unsatisfactory nature of things. Yet when death enters our home, we are forced to turn to our deepest concerns and feelings. Death can then become our great teacher or messenger, shaking us up from our security, our complacency.

Reflecting on death might be very scary at first but such reflections have the power to change our attitude toward life. One might find that reminding oneself of one’s own mortality helps one to do what is most essential in life. Keeping death in mind also makes it easier to let go of one’s petty grudges towards people with whom one has disagreements.

Stumbled upon this site of Pure Land of Learning Victoria explaning the chinese character of the following. Each character from pictoria comes with a meaning to each character and it brings a meaning of relation to each character.

Buddha (Fo)

The word Buddha in Sanskrit was translated as 佛陀耶 (Fótuó yé) in Chinese. The Chinese like simplicity, as a result, only the first word "fo" was used to refer to Buddha. Buddha, or Fo, means an enlighten being - A person who understands the true nature of life and the universe.
He has reached supreme perfection both in self-realization and in helping others to attain realization. With his help, we are able to transcend from suffering to happiness. The innumerable Buddhas are not gods to be worshipped but compassionate and wise beings to be respected and emulated.

Filial Piety (xiao)

This character is made up of two words, lau (老 old, or aged) on top of zi (子 young, or offspring). Lau refers to our parents, zi refers to ourselves. There is a bond between the two.
The word also signifies infinite past and infinite future: before us there are our parents, grandparents and so on. Looking into the future, there are our children, grandchildren...
A child's duty is to be filial. It is not only limited to physical and mental care of one's parents. The ultimate filial piety is for us to achieve enlightenment ourselves, that is, to fully understand the true nature of the universe. Our parents will also, by virtue of our achievement, blessed with peace and happiness.
Hence, the foundation of Buddhism is built on filial piety.

Money (qian)

"Qian" means money. It consists of 3 words - gold on the left and two daggers on the right. Having money means we are accepting gold and danger at the same time. One follows the other like the shadow following our body.
The ancient Chinese were very cleaver to create the word money with two daggers. It reminds us not to be greedy and not to show off our possessions. There is a saying in Chinese "Possessions are not to be seen by others"

to Think (xiang)

Xiang, that means, to think. It is made up of two words, the heart (心), and an image (相) of our thought.
You might have heard of this expression "use your brain to think!" and "a good hearted person". Who is the mastermind? The heart or the brain? Is the act of kindness or compassion directed by our heart or our mind?
The character Xiang tells us that we think with our heart. While we are thinking, whether we are aware of it or not, an image, or, impression will arise in our mind and as normal human beings, we will react to this image Therefore, we should always keep our heart pure. If we think of kindness, our speech and action will naturally be kind and peaceful. If we think of evil, they will be mean and nasty.

to Endure (ren)

"Ren" means to endure. It is made up of two words, knife and heart: The knife is sitting on top of our heart.
It means when we practice endurance, we will suffer acute agony as if our heart is stabbed by a knife, however, we still have to persist. The more we can endure, the greater our achievements will be. There is a saying in Chinese: Gold is form from incalculable endurance.

to Recite (nian)

This character is pronounced as "nian". It means to recite or to read aloud.
Nian consists of two chinese characters: "now" or "at the present" (今), and "the heart" (心). Combining these two characters tells us that to recite, the heart must be here and now. The presence of mind is most important. Let the heart "listens" to every word we read or recite. And, gently bring it back when it wanders!

I may not say this more often than I should. I Love You Daddy Mummy!

Parental love are limitless. We often take their love and care for granted. We often do not take the time to tell them how much we love them. We are too busy chasing the materialistic life hoping to provide the best for them, that we forgotten that they are getting older and may not be there forever. It is not the materialistic things we provide to them, it is the time we could spend with them that matter most.

世界上永不枯竭的愛，是母愛！
世上最動聽的聲音，便是母親的呼喚

They never request for repayment. They love from the heart unconditionally. You were treated as prince and princesses since birth. The moment they are no longer here, one's world tumble down. Once a precious 宝 becomes 草.

為母親念佛，感恩父母的養育之恩，藉著真誠誦念觀世音菩薩聖號，將心底最深的愛與祝福送給母親，希望母親能夠永遠健康長壽，已往生的能得佛光，承佛願力，往生極樂！

On this date in 2014, I held your hand. Both of us are nervous. But, I am so fluttered that I had this handsome man holding me, the one who will be holding my hand for the rest of my life. You sitting by the pillar while waiting for me to get off work. You came to meet me after work. We had dinner and movie, like any ordinary couple would. We watched Neo, 8pm. After that you often came by for lunch with me at the mall.

On this date 22 April 2021. Today, marked the 7th years of us together if we are still holding on to each other... 

A year ago on this date, I joined the new company in Q Sentral. A new beginning for the both of us. To achieve our dreams, our plans, our future... or was it just mine? 

It is also the date, in 2020 we celebrated our 6th year anniversary apart due to the pandemic. Two months later, you left me stranded in the deserted land of depression and pain.

You made this note is because, often times randomly I would ask you when did we meet or when you held my hands. I would be throwing tantrum or being emotional when you forgot the dates. You pretended you forgot, but you made this note.

Thank you for the reminder Bb

~ I still do not have the heart to pack up your things, and our things. I do not know what am I waiting for, but one thing for sure is that you will not be coming back.

有钱不是幸福，幸福是。。。
你累了，有人心疼你
你病了，有人照顾你
你老乐，有人陪伴你

I know money is not everything, I wanted the best for you and for our future. I tried to make as much as I can, I wanted to prove to my parents that you and I, both of us are capable.
I didn't know that doing so you will stop wanting me. I asked you to take me away. But you never did, reasons after reasons.

Or was it just an excuse for you? I believed the 幸福 is true. I wanted to be by your side in your ups and down; when you're sick and unwell; when you're tired and especially when we're both wrinkled and old.

But, when you're down, you rather go for other option instead of to me. I didn't ask for big house or luxury car or even a grand wedding. I just wanted a simple wedding. I didn't ask for carat of diamond ring - just a simple wedding band to make me your MRS is all I asked for. I just wanted you to be by my side and I be at yours.

I looked for reason to forget and move on. Two weeks later, I am back at square one.

我不能忘记我们的一切。
我真的很想念你。