As day passes, I get terrified. I do not know when is the last day I'll see and hold mummy. Just like when daddy passed away. 

I'm tearing in between making her live longer and letting her go without pain. There is so much I wanted to do with her. Our trip to Haneda, New Zealand and to Europe. 

Her abdominal seems more bloated now compare to the other day. Ultrasound shows there are fluid in them. The liquid had gone to her lungs and that could be one of the reason which causes her to have difficulties in breathing and was sent to the ICU.

She seems weaker than before going into ICU. She had no strength to talk. She feels nauseated. She doesn't wants to eat. I wanted her to drink the 'cocktail' and yet I'm afraid that it will make her puke. She is very tired... she had been sleeping throughout. 

Daddy! What am to do?? 

I will be very selfish if I wanted to keep mummy alive to see me get weds while she is feeling the discomfort and pain. I just wanted to get her home.