Sometimes I feel that I am contradicting myself.

I wanted you to go to 西方极乐世界西方極樂世界 and not stay here for you will be cold and not good for you but at the same time I don't want you to leave and forget us here. It just feel that there is a big part missing. I always complain that you're irritating, but when you're gone it just felt wasn't right.

When a beloved is dying, we are touched to our deepest core. Difficult, painful emotions may rush up, stirring in our hearts. Dying and death become a great challenger, breaking into our lives.

There are many ways to distract ourselves in our everyday life and forget about the ever-present and basic unsatisfactory nature of things. Yet when death enters our home, we are forced to turn to our deepest concerns and feelings. Death can then become our great teacher or messenger, shaking us up from our security, our complacency.

Reflecting on death might be very scary at first but such reflections have the power to change our attitude toward life. One might find that reminding oneself of one’s own mortality helps one to do what is most essential in life. Keeping death in mind also makes it easier to let go of one’s petty grudges towards people with whom one has disagreements.