I have to physically stop myself from talking to you.
Wednesday, September 09, 2020
I search for you in cars that pass - though why I do not know,
I seek you out in crowds - in all the faces that I see,
I miss you and I wonder - do you also search for me?
Sometimes I want to hate you, because at least hate eventually wears itself out and fades into not caring any more. As destructive as the path can be, hate eventually leads to the realisation that everything will be okay.But love doesn’t.
Love means caring forever. And yes - love fades too. But it fades to the sadness of realising that nothing will ever be okay again.
- Ranata Suzuki -
It is so right on spot. Everything makes me agitate, every little bit of action made me mad. I wanted to let go and move on. Often I'm always looking at the things and places we used to go; it broke me into pieces all over again. I keep myself busy to keep the mind busy from thinking too much. How you will be the one I wanted to marry, but it turned out you become a stranger. I did everything I could to move on my life like you've not been into my life at all. I wanted to hate you. But I could not. It is my fault I could not deny. It is just too late for me to do or say anything now.
Part of me wants to hate you.
Part of me thinks that I’ll feel better if I do, but I can’t.
I’m in love with the girl who stole my heart.
I’m so in love that, even while I’m hurting, I can’t convince myself that I hate you.
Bit by bit, step-by-step. I will able to move on and the hurt will not be so hurtful anymore. By then, I could only ignore you and to stop myself from obsessing about you.
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