Why?

I only wanted to spend some time with you. When silence become awkward, I started thinking. I don't like it when I start to over-think things. But I could not help it.

Since when did this happen? I have been doubting myself if I did something wrong to the extend that you do not want to be with me anymore. But it had been dragged on for so long now, that I do not what is our status. The awkward questions I'm always asked of your where-about. I have no answers why, what and where. I am getting very tired. I am also getting very worried. Is this a way you're telling me that we should part our way.

There seems to be always excuses coming from you. We barely time to meet and talk at all. When there was this chance to be together and you did was smoke and stare into the road ahead. Where was all the passion and love we used to have?

It seems that you're waiting... waiting for me to put this thing to an end. I wanted to. I so very much wanted to. But when I had gathered all the courage to tell you. You would tell me some things that I had to push it on a later date. All I wanted and wished above all is for you to be happy.

Are you happy to be with me?

I had told you not once but many times over the course of relationship. The need to communicate and to clear things up. But I am starting to be afraid to talk to you. I am so afraid what will come out of you. Although I am often preparing myself to brace the decision you've made. But, I am still very afraid. I know you will want nothing more than to hurt me. But both of us dragging this is bringing us both more harm than good.

Short term pain is better than long term regret. Should we call it quit?

I had hoped that you will be the one I'm holding on for the rest of my life. But there are times when you pushes me away from you that broke me to pieces. The over-think kicks in, if this happened in the future after we've signed the paper there will be more trouble ahead. I might not be stern enough to resist temptation and comfort from another person who is more open to hold me when I weep my heart out from frustration. But I wanted you more than anything to be happy.